When his very first song came out on August 31st, Mouad Elhmaidi didn’t know what to expect. Would it find any ears willing to pay attention? “I imagined just… two people clicking and then —‘Ooh. This is sad.’” He pauses and smiles. “Then: ‘No.’” He chuckles before continuing on, as we talk over video chat a few days after the track’s release. “Because… these are times when most people don’t really want to listen to sad music, and I understand that.”
Lorraine is definitely not for those who exclusively enjoy upbeat, cheerful music. It’s a slow guitar-led ballad that builds, but never uses any drums. It notably showcases some gentle piano notes, too —courtesy of Aunyes Hermantin, Mouad’s girlfriend. It radiates a kind of Radiohead-meets-Paul-McCartney energy. Produced by Salim Daïma, the song feels like a dream or fantasy sequence in a movie.
I’m not capable of writing a happy song, I don’t think I can,” the 26-year-old says, before adding: “I’m not particularly a sad person, or maybe I am, I don’t know.” He laughs. “I just can’t.”
Throughout our talk, Mouad doesn’t seem like a sad person, but rather like someone who has grown comfortable with sadness as a part of life, and who has learnt to embrace his emotions. His way of being seems to reflect what we hear in his art, which he describes as “melancholic, but sweet, dreamy.” “I love melancholic stuff, he explains. Like, my favorite poetry —Mahmoud Darwich, Pablo Neruda—, it’s pretty sad. My favorite music, too —Pink Floyd, the ballads from The Beatles…”
Lorraine is the product of these different influences, and more. Originally a guitarist, the Tetùan-based singer-songwriter first got passionate about music as “an act of rebellion.” As a teen, he listened to fast-paced rock, metal; then moved on to blues and jazz. “I used to be really into shredding —like fast lead guitarist. I wanted to be that. I wanted to be in the spotlight. The singer can sing, the band can play, and I would just be–,” he gestures as if he had the instrument —which actually sits right next to him on the couch— in his hands. But after high school, as he went into higher education, he lacked the necessary time to keep up his regular practice, and ended up taking a break. “At that point, I stopped music. I didn’t stop consuming music, but I didn’t have the mental energy to play music anymore.” Then naturally, he found himself drawn to other sounds than what he used to listen to. “I started getting into singer-songwriter stuff, and I think that changed my life. It really did. That’s what led me here.”
His first single exceeded his expectations: in less than a week after its release, it was streamed more than 3 400 times. Thanks to the magic of the Internet, the young Moroccan has reached listeners “all over the world,” although most of his audience is in his home country, where the “main” genres in recent years have been rap and trap.
But actually, who is Lorraine? In the music video (linked at the end of this article), we see the title layered over a shot of a (very cute) blue-eyed kitten. But the name is actually borrowed from a person, and not a feline: actress Lorraine Bracco. One day, as he was watching Martin Scorsese’s Goodfellas with his girlfriend, Mouad picked up his guitar and started strumming and humming, he recounts. He started filling in some words, until it turned into a song. That’s what his songwriting process has been like for the past 2–3 years. “I think that’s one’s subconscious talking, and I try to figure out the meaning afterwards.” Later on, after some soul-searching, he figured out that it had to do with his teenage years. “Up until I turned 20 years old or something like that, I always thought that the ‘grass is always greener,’ like the saying. Whenever you meet someone, they’re great, you bond, and then… ‘What if?’ There’s always this mirage —I think that Lorraine is not a person, she’s just an abstract notion of a much better love, a grass that’s much greener.”
Although the song took on that meaning for him, the musician welcomes any kind of interpretation to his own lyrics. “Music is so deeply personal, and at the same time, as human beings, we have shared consciousness, values, we can relate to each other on deeper levels. A lot of music that was personal to the people who made it got to me. Inspired me, made me feel so many things, made me feel understood. And I’ll forever be grateful to them. I’m glad that I can have the opportunity to do that, even if it’s just for one person. I would love that. The purpose would be served.”
For Mouad, it all comes down to the workings of the human mind, for which he has a fascination. A soon-to-be doctor, he chose to study medicine to become a psychiatrist —a path he doesn’t see himself give up on. “My passion for psychiatry is really what made me tolerate the whole mental charge of med school, and the physical toll, too. I’ve been curious about the human mind ever since I was a kid. It just fascinated me. Starting from ghost stories. Like real ghost stories, people talking about sightings they had, and then how mental health can lead to that.”
The stigma surrounding mental welfare in his country, specifically, and the world, generally, has become another motivation for him to want to work in the field. “What’s considered ‘normal’ in the capitalistic world we live in is being productive. But it’s actually okay to feel lazy, it’s okay to not be feeling well. I want to help with normalizing that.”
In the meantime, he’ll keep on studying towards becoming a psychiatrist, all while still holding on to his biggest passion —music. “I think that both disciplines can help each other. Being into psychiatry can help my music, and being into music can help my dealing with whatever challenges I encounter medicine wise,” he explains. With a debut EP titled Rainbow Moon on the way (coming hopefully in October), Mouad hopes his music continues to find more eager ears in the upcoming weeks. His next single should be released at the end of September.
“I’m not gonna say that I don’t wanna ‘make it’, that I don’t wanna be famous. I want that,” he admits, not without a chuckle. “I’m not gonna lie. I really want that. But still, I think having people out there listening, even if it’s just a hundred people, and having genuine feedback from them, how my music made them feel —some stories that I received made me tear up—… that’s worth it.”
Check out the official video for Lorraine, directed and filmed by Aunyes Hermantin in Rabat’s Botanical Gardens:
